Paul Crowley ([info]ciphergoth) wrote,
@ 2008-09-12 12:21:00
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Ah, go on...
You can make people like you more by doing them a tremendously damaging disservice - encourage them to do what is in their short-term interests but against their long-term interests.


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[info]ciphergoth
2008-09-12 11:30 am UTC (link)
Just to clarify - this isn't a veiled attack on someone, just something I've been thinking about recently, so I'm not thinking of one big important instance of this but the zillions of little instances you see all the time.

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[info]palmer1984
2008-09-12 11:38 am UTC (link)
True, but you might not make them like you more in the long run!

[Example, people with drugs problems not spending time with people who encourage them when they stop taking drugs]

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[info]uke
2008-09-12 05:19 pm UTC (link)
They'll probably still like you--they'll just think you are not so smart after all.

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[info]valkyriekaren
2008-09-12 11:38 am UTC (link)
Especially if they are the sort of people (and there are many - see political reporting in the mainstream media for evidence) who will judge you on your most recent action rather than your history.

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[info]xquiq
2008-09-12 11:41 am UTC (link)
I'd agree with this, particularly in relation to eating / boozing / staying out later than planned.

I've noticed recently (through work events) that when you get a group of people together who all display this behaviour the overall effect is greater in than the sum of the parts.

Or more specifically, when a bunch of managerial / consultant types all try to convince a group that a midweek bender is a good idea, the result is carnage. (Short term: look like one of the team / good chap etc; Longer term: not exactly healthy, great potential for embarrassment and I know several people who have had problems at home as a direct result of work-related boozing).

Not sure about the office cake-pushers though. As someone who has to work to stay slim, I find that particular behaviour genuinely annoying, much as I might enjoy a bit of cake in the short term.

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[info]booklectic
2008-09-12 11:42 am UTC (link)
Of course, people are often not conscious that this is what they're doing.

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[info]ciphergoth
2008-09-12 12:23 pm UTC (link)
Hardly ever, in fact, which was one reason I was interested to know what people thought about it!

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[info]evil_c
2008-09-12 12:29 pm UTC (link)
I think you are right. There are very few people who look at things long term. If more people did look at things long term (backward and forward) then the world would be a much better place.

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[info]sleepycinderell
2008-09-12 12:48 pm UTC (link)
I learned fast not to be Cassandra because their less insightful friends would always contradict me and make me look like the baddie. Quite depressing really! Actually, I still forget sometimes and give an opinion when asked. And I'm absolutely rubbish at taking my own advice :-)


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[info]ergotia
2008-09-12 01:07 pm UTC (link)
Werll, yes, I dont disagree, but is it maybe a touch arrogant to think you know what is in their short and/or long term interests? This is why I am wary of giving any advice at all :(

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[info]ergotia
2008-09-12 01:18 pm UTC (link)
Of course this is also very difficult if their short term interests are also your short term interests e.g. "Shall I buy some condoms before we go out or obey my pastor and keep my virginity for marriage?" :)

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[info]actionreplay
2008-09-12 06:56 pm UTC (link)
I was thinking more of the office Friday box of donuts myself.... but then, I like donuts, and don't need the Mrs Doyle treatment to indulge....

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[info]drdoug
2008-09-12 08:02 pm UTC (link)
True indeed, and this principle can with care be exploited to one's great advantage during strategy games.

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[info]ladycat
2009-02-26 03:01 pm UTC (link)
Yes, especially if it involves drunkenness, desire and kisses.

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